CANDLECALLS

[everfixedmark]

it's not like i forgot this or anything

Comments

[everfixedmark]

If I let Mouse's words sting me, I'd be a mess. I just don't let it bother me unless I know it's true.

[clocksandroses]

. . . Mm, that's a good way to go about it.

[HA HA HA HA orz]

[everfixedmark]

It's easy when I can assess them against myself. Honestly, I think the main reason we get along so well is because he knows he won't tear me to pieces.

[clocksandroses]

[Her expression sinks into thoughtfulness.]

Have you always been able to think of yourself so objectively?

[everfixedmark]

Always...? I don't know about that. I think I've had better luck thinking of myself objectively than thinking of other things objectively in general.

[clocksandroses]

It's always been the other way around for me, I think . . .

Though with some issues, I could never stop my feelings from getting the better of me.

[everfixedmark]

Feelings are what they are.

[clocksandroses]

Feelings are precious. But . . . I can't deny that they clouded my judgement sometimes. It feels better now that I can see both sides more clearly.

[everfixedmark]

The problem is when you act on your feelings even while analysing why it's all a terrible idea.

[clocksandroses]

. . . Mm.

What happened?

[everfixedmark]

Oh, nothing specific, it's just a trend.

[clocksandroses]

Okay . . . That makes sense.

[There's a beat.]

Shion, did you ever hear about what Kaito does for a living?

[everfixedmark]

He steals things?

[clocksandroses]

Right.

I've bullied him into agreeing to let me help him steal things. [When my own father is the one in charge of catching him, this is a legit life choice.] I don't regret that choice at all, but there is a part of me that keeps pointing out how badly it could go.

[everfixedmark]

Well... yes, that's the criminal life...

[clocksandroses]

It's . . . It's going to be interesting.

[everfixedmark]

Is it what you want?

[clocksandroses]

Do I want to be a thief? No. Not really. I'll be betraying half of what I always believed in—still believe in.

[It's like she's never laid it out like this before. She speaks slowly, clearly, just with the occasional pause.]

But . . . Do I want to help Kaito find some closure . . . Help him use Kid to put an end to something worse than he'd ever let himself be—? And finally have some way to protect the people that matter to me?

[She lets out a soft huff.]

I do want that. Even if it's ridiculous and stupid and dangerous and selfish.

[everfixedmark]

Yes... finding some closure is good but... Will you be all right violating your own morals? It's no good if you end up harming yourself to the point that you're the one who needs closure, right?

[clocksandroses]

If it's for this . . . ? Mm.

I can't stay on the sidelines anymore. Not when there's so much at stake.

[everfixedmark]

I understand the feeling...

[clocksandroses]

. . . You're one of the first I've really talked about it with.

[everfixedmark]

Eh, really?? Sorry I can't give you very good advice...

[clocksandroses]

Don't worry about it! I just thought . . . that you might get it, more than my other friends.

[everfixedmark]

Well, I'd definitely never intended to become a terrorist, so...